The Picnic - Part 2
How to style a picnic
Frankly, if you want a simple outdoor affair, you’ve come to the wrong place. Picnics for us are an arena for the absolute unhinged show-off in you. If your idea of a good picnic is sweaty ham and mustard in cling-film on a park bench - feel free to abandon ship here.
Hopefully they’ve gone.
For you, dear discerning reader, let us tell you how to throw the debauched and extravagant picnic of dreams.
Select your venue!
Got a country pile? That’ll do nicely.
Into scenic rivers? Couldn’t be better.
Know how to access someone else’s country pile? Ideal, and great for the thrill seekers.
(Do I really need to say, maybe don’t do this?)
Plan the food!
The best picnics don’t really feel like picnics at all. So be extravagant. Why serve scotch eggs when you can serve a 3-meter scotch quail egg croquembouche?? Why serve potato salad when you can serve a wild caper and Jersey Royal potato puree fountain? And if you even think of serving prosecco… give yourself a stern talking to. And learn to spell. Here, I’ll teach you its: C H A M P A G N E.
Dress to impress!
Silks! Taffeta! Polyester! Remove the Forever 21 label and all will be well…
Dress the space.
Let’s make this a subheading shall we?
Dress the space
We’ve come to it. The most important part. Its not the company, the setting, or the food. Its how to make it look great that matters. So, Nigella let you down, and your frittata is less ‘ta-da!’ and more ‘ta, but no thanks’. We can remedy this. Its all about making it look like the food is worth eating.
1970s violet glass and silver Italian glasses
Start with a table cloth. You could go classic picnic style gingham (well technically its 17th century southeast Asian style, probably derived from the Malay word ‘genggang’ meaning striped or separate, later becoming popular as a humble, ‘rustic’ fabric suitable for outdoors).
You could do that, or…
…You could bring out some snazzy Persian rugs instead! Very Dutch Golden age. Very Vermeer, hell, very Rembrandt! So throw down a rug, either on the grass or on the table.
Failing that, the risk-taker in me would ‘borrow’ my great aunt’s sumptuous silk curtains. Tapenade stains only last a lifetime. Picnic memories are forever.
2. Set up a bar. Yes it is very important. Did we mention that children not invited?
Having a mobile bar to hand at all times is a must in adult life. If you don’t yet own a portable tiki bar, a gorgeous tray will do. How about this lovely 1960s Formica number we recently snapped up in Italy?
Can you taste the Campari yet? Then of course you’ll need some equally lovely glasses… what better to go with that yellow than its complementary colour, violet? (Very now, in case you didn’t know…)
You can buy those gorgeous 1970s crystal and silver Italian beauties above, here
We also currently stock a super chic Boda Nova ice bucket, which could come in handy.
Yes we’re here for fun, but we’re also here for commerce too. Daddy did NOT own half of Devon.
3.The tableware. Plates, cutlery and the like. Treat your guests to the good stuff! I know you’re outdoors but nothing is better than proper China. So crack out the Sèvres.
You’re NOT a child. You’re just outside. And if you are a child. What the hell are you doing here? You weren’t invited, see above.
4.The mood lighting. Only solid silver candelabras will do. Let’s speak no more of it.
5.Have fun with it. But only if you have impeccable taste. I favour 19th century whimsical Staffordshire, you may prefer vintage silver French pluckable pheasants…
…There’s a pun there…
…But who am I to judge?
FIN
Thank you for reading. If you think you know better, challenge me to a duel.